That's what brides are telling the world these days, choosing overwhelmingly to return to the tradition of adopting their husbands' surnames after marriage.

Forget the feminist practice that took hold in the 1970s and '80s of women keeping their given name to prove political, economic and social independence.

Nowadays, name-changing kits are regular bridal shower gifts, alongside coffee mugs, tote bags, T-shirts, baseball caps, and even frilly thongs emblazoned with the three-letter word.

Wedding planners report that monograms printed on everything from invitations, cakes, napkins and favors, using his last name, are being requested more than ever.

Even high-powered female celebrities who made their mark by being strident individualists - Madonna and Britney Spears, in particular - have proudly posed for paparazzi recently in outfits advertising their married monikers - Mrs. Ritchie and Mrs. Federline.

There are no official records showing exactly how many brides legally change their names in the United States because of marriage. The Social Security Administration processes name changes for legal purposes, but it does not keep statistics on which switches have been made for marital reasons.

A study done at Harvard University and published in 2004 showed that about 23 percent of college-educated women surveyed kept their surname in 1990, but a decade later, only 13 percent chose to retain their original name.

A separate survey conducted by Brides magazine showed that 83 percent changed their name in 2001. And a similar survey conducted in 2004 by TheKnot.com showed 81 percent taking their husband's name.

"I have to admit, I was stunned," said Diana Boxer, 57, a linguistics professor at the University of Florida, who has done research on the topic.

"Those of us who came up in the feminist movement had our consciousness raised as to what it means in terms of losing our identity, but women seem to be going back to the old tradition," she said. "When I asked my students the question, only one out of 18 said she'd retain her name. It was like a no-brainer to them."

Boxer (who is married but goes by her maiden name), said her findings, which will be published this spring in the journal Women and Language, show that 77 percent of women between 20 and 70 whom she surveyed planned to take their husbands' names.

The brides gave reasons ranging from simply preferring their husbands' name to symbolically showing that they had become a "unified" family, she said.

Xavier, 29, is a physician who works as a fellow in hematology and oncology at the University of Pennsylvania Hospital and grew up in Center City. She understands why her mother went back to her maiden name after earning a doctorate.

"I was aware it was a feminist thing, that this was her way of establishing herself as a professional and all that," she said. "But, I always thought it was a little annoying."

After talking with her girlfriends, Xavier said, she has concluded that young women do not consider their decision a step backward for feminism.

"This is a time of gender equality," Xavier said. "For me, personally, I grew up in a feminist household. I went to medical school. I'm accomplished in my own right. I don't feel like I'm somebody's possession just because I use their name. I happen to like his name."

"All the women I talked to, they think 'What's the big deal? We can be whatever we want, we don't have to worry about something as silly as a name,' " she said. "But it's not superficial. The choice reflects something about our society. Especially since men, in general, never consider hyphenating or taking their wives' names."

"For me, it was strictly a business decision," the Main Line-based wedding consultant said. "I'd spent over 10 years establishing myself in the event industry, and if I took on a new last name people wouldn't know my reputation. I knew I'd have trouble getting phone calls returned, things like that."

The two-name compromise was a useful bridge, "that helped with name recognition in my business," she said, adding that her husband's military deployment influenced her decision.

"My husband was surprised," Pecora said. "He really didn't expect it of me. But I did it because if we have children, I want them to be raised with a unified sense of family."

As boys, men don't dwell on the name-change issue. But when they get serious about a girlfriend, Pecora says, they take the time to consider if she's "the right one" to take on the family name.

Pecora's good friend Darleen Owens-Walls, owner of Precious Petals floral design in Huntingdon Valley, said she knew taking her husband's name was important to him.

"If I hadn't taken his name at all, I know that would have been a problem," Owens-Walls said, calling her spouse, Patrick Walls, "conservative and very traditional."

So, is the trend a permanent change? Or is it just a pendulum swing? Millie Martini Bratten, editor in chief of Brides magazine, said it's simply a sign of the times.

"I think 9/11 was a catalyst for putting family first," she explained. "It's an outgrowth of these times of uncertainty. These days it's not a political decision, it's just a very personal one."

"They're about the newness factor of getting a ring, buying a dress, and being a Mrs.," Bratten said. "It's part of testing out your new identity. And it's fun. I don't think it goes any deeper than that."

Be sure you have a copy of your marriage license to prove you are changing your name for a legal reason and not because you're fleeing from the authorities.

Start with the Social Security Administration. This will make sure you are paying taxes under your new name. Once you relinquish your card and get a new one, the change is official. You can download the necessary form (No. SS-5) from the Social Security Web site, ssa.gov, or call 1-800-772-1213 to have the form mailed to you.

Make sure your employer knows about your new identity, and your paychecks are made out in your new name. Also inform your health insurance company, your car insurance company, and the folks that handle your 401(K) and your car loan.

Go to the bank and get new checks, get a new drivers license, and get on the phone with your credit-card companies, the library, the health club, and any other place that requires an ID card.

married Henry Blackwell) in 1855. She also challenged state and federal laws denying women the right to own property and receive an inheritance.

"It's a question of power," said Morrison Bonpasse, director of the league. "If you, as a woman, are taking his name as a sign of love, essentially abandoning your identity, what is he doing for you?"

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